Hanging On and Counting Down

Working full-time before taking maternity leave is hard. Really, really hard. For the last 10 weeks or so, all I've wanted to do is be home taking care of Baby Z and instead I've been at work and traveling.   My head is not in the work game, and it's a struggle to get everything anything finished. The outstanding work projects will be complete by the time I leave, and I'll be able to breathe again.

In the time that I'm off of work, we should finalize Baby Z's adoption. In Col.orado there's a 6 month period after placement before finalization, although termination of parental rights tends to happen about a week after placement or the baby is born and an adoption plan is being made. I haven't blogged about what's been going on, because termination of parental rights has not been signed by the judge and we are not sure the direction this saga is taking. Based on everything we've heard from the agency, we really don't have cause for worry. There has been one court date, and now there's another scheduled in a few weeks. Hopefully at this court date, the question will be resolved and we can move forward with finalization. If it gets dragged out some more, I suppose we could be looking at delayed finalization. While I'm not worried about the ultimate outcome, it's forefront on my mind that there's a loose end. If the ultimate outcome is something other than what we think should happen, it'll be the stuff of soap-opera plots.

My writing and this blog is in transition. Now that we're hopefully done with family-building, I suppose I'll be transitioning from run of the mill mad as hell infertile turned adoptive mom to adoptive mom raising kids. The thing is, I don't feel like a mommy-blogger. I feel hamstrung by the need to protect certain stories, even if they affect me, and I don't know how to approach it all. There's plenty of drama happening around me, but it isn't necessarily happening to me, so I'm not sure what to share. I doubt you want to read more ranting about my struggle being the golden-child only daughter of a narcissistic mother and enabling father. But, you might get that, if I can ever write it down coherently that is.