I called for an update this afternoon. Plan is still in place, and J is miserable physically. There wasn't much change at her doctor's appointment today.
It eases the worrying, which I fully understand is goddamn selfish of me to say. Yay, she's moving ahead with not raising her child? I gagged writing that. Except, that's my position, right? It's a rather untenable position once you start exploring all sides of adoption and learning what it means for all members of the triad. I am the privileged one. I am the so-called savior. *GAG*
Anyway, still freaking the f-ck out over here, just with less dread I guess.
Not selfish to say, just true. The situation sucks, and it's not easy for anyone. It doesn't make you selfish to hate this limbo and to just want to have hope that things will work out for YOU after all you've been through. Thinking of you...
ReplyDeleteI'm glad for your sake the plan is in place because I know how enormously stressful this has been for you. (But yes, it's hard to cheer on adoption knowing what we know.)
ReplyDeleteI so understand. I am hopeful this is it for you but also acknowledge the sadness for all the loss involved. I am excited about the joy that will soon enter your life! Thinking of you...
ReplyDeleteYeah....been there. But, YAY, for less dread!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you!
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