It's my first Mother's Day as a mother. I spent the past several years annoyed that my birthday falls close to this day, thus tainting my birthday fun with the depressing knowledge that there was no baby.
I'll admit, this year brings a sense of relief that I get to be acknowledged as a member of the sorority. I don't buy into the pomp and circumstance, but I am looking forward to a lovely breakfast made by my husband and a day trip to the mountains. (note, I cleaned furiously today to make the lazing around tomorrow possible, hmmm).
Still, there is the fact of our situation. C terminated her parental rights to make me a mother. It doesn't seem right to make a big deal out of my Mother's Day at her expense. So, tomorrow, I will also be thinking about her and wondering how she is feeling on this day.
There is also the fact that so many women are not mothers yet and are in the throes of treatments or miscarriages or waiting for a match, or making hard decisions. I'm also thinking of them.
I'll admit, this year brings a sense of relief that I get to be acknowledged as a member of the sorority. I don't buy into the pomp and circumstance, but I am looking forward to a lovely breakfast made by my husband and a day trip to the mountains. (note, I cleaned furiously today to make the lazing around tomorrow possible, hmmm).
Still, there is the fact of our situation. C terminated her parental rights to make me a mother. It doesn't seem right to make a big deal out of my Mother's Day at her expense. So, tomorrow, I will also be thinking about her and wondering how she is feeling on this day.
There is also the fact that so many women are not mothers yet and are in the throes of treatments or miscarriages or waiting for a match, or making hard decisions. I'm also thinking of them.
I hope you enjoy you breakfast and day tomorrow! It seems like many of us are ambivalent about this holiday this year...
ReplyDeleteHi... I just found your blog. We are two infertile engineers as well so I was instantly interested :) I wasn't really feeling mother's day this year either. Maybe when our children are bigger but I think my experience with IF is still fresh in my mind and I think of how I felt during the years of treatments and how there are still women out there that feel the same way.
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