Oh, here's the new statement coming out of people's mouths when I tell them we're No. 8. "Wow, seems like things are moving fast now!" Twenty months is not fast motherfuckers!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
U.S. Newborn Adoptions
Adoptive Family Magazine published survey results on U.S. newborn adoption. According to the results of the survey, on average 53% of the placements happened in 6 months or less. (you'll notice my husband and I are now in the 17% bracket) Really? Where the hell are these people? The math is officially blown out of the water. It's fucking spring, we're No. 8 and no match. I gave up a project I really wanted to do. My brother and fiance are both graduating in May. We were supposed to go visit them in Arkansas before they move but I can't buy plane tickets now. I want to visit friends in San Francisco but have no idea if I should. This is an infuriating place. There is no more "when you least expect it" in our situation. We expect it. We I expect a phone call every goddamn day of the week.
Oh, here's the new statement coming out of people's mouths when I tell them we're No. 8. "Wow, seems like things are moving fast now!" Twenty months is not fast motherfuckers!
Oh, here's the new statement coming out of people's mouths when I tell them we're No. 8. "Wow, seems like things are moving fast now!" Twenty months is not fast motherfuckers!
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I am so sorry! I know the process when you are in "limbo" is frustrating when it comes to planning things!
ReplyDeleteWe have been waiting for a year now and I know what you mean....we finally just said F it and started booking things. We are going to Hawaii next month and in July to Washington. If we have to pay a lil fee to postpone or cancel airfare so be it but why should your life be on hold for the unknown. Just live is the advice I can give and enjoy and your call will happen when you are "living" :-) J
ReplyDeleteThat is infuriating, and anecdotally speaking, those numbers don't sound right. Something smells foul on this report. My friend waited two years, and I know so many others that adopted after 1 year +. Who are these 6 month people?
ReplyDeleteIt must be tough to feel like your life is on hold. I think maybe traveling, like S and J said, by budgeting in cancellation fees is a way to go.
Funny: my brother graduated from Univerity of Arkansas last year...
I also saw the results of the survery and just wanted to crawl into a cave...here we are walking away from the process as our agency has told us that the chances of us getting a "lower risk" situation just do not look good.
ReplyDeleteI would be curious in that survey for the participants to say "how" they adopted. For example, we can't use facilitators...but I know so many that have and got placements quickly.
Someone in our agency that had been waiting longer than us finally said screw it, put out more money to a facilitator type (don't know how they worked around the legals) and had a kid in home in 3 months time (were matched in a month).
Where did I go wrong...
I read that article too and thought that was a bit fast and unrealistic from the blogs I read and people I talk too. We have been only in the books for 1 month and that articles gives families like us fast hope and gives families like you a red ass.
ReplyDeleteVisiting from ICLW and hoping your match comes soon. 20 months is a long time!
ReplyDeleteI am new to the adoption process and looking forward to reading along with your story-
Jess
http://alittleblogaboutthebiginfertility.blogspot.com/
I feel for you. I do. We waited 22 months before we were matched and we were #10 for almost 6 months!! So hard to plan life and to stay in the moment and enjoy the life you currently have and not always be thinking about the life you are trying to build. So hard. What I kept telling myself about the wait is it was the price we paid in order to ensure that we were adopting in the most ethical way possible and that was the most important thing to me. Hang in there...
ReplyDeleteIt just sucks, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteI can't really think of anything more helpful to say. But you know you are in my thoughts.