Our adoption agency puts all the waiting families who have completed the homestudy into a numbered list. Those near the top get priority during matching, and those at the bottom rarely get called until there have been several placements and they move up.
Yes, expectant mothers choose the waiting families.
The caseworkers take the profiles of the waiting families and the situation/needs/wants of the expectant mother and scans starting at the top of the list for a handful of potential matches. The expectant mother reviews the handful of profiles and decides. If she's not sure, she can ask for more profiles to view. Typically there will be a meeting between the mother and the waiting family or families before the final decision. At this point, both parties decide whether they believe the match will work.
The list is set up to try to make it fair to the waiting families who have been in the pool the longest but there's always special cases (like the call we got last week) where you can be farther down and get a phone call. During our education class, the caseworkers mentioned that you really don't want to get to No. 1 because that typically means they are having trouble matching your needs/wants with expectant mothers' situation/needs/wants.
One more tidbit. I believe that we were called and asked if we wanted our profile to be shown because the situation was out of the norm compared to our checklist. I don't think they would necessarily ask us if we wanted our profile to be shown if the situation is well within our parameters. I think they would let us know that we are being profiled.
That's it in a nutshell! Class dismissed. ;-)
I feel like we have no control. I realize it's normal to feel this way but when I was talking to my boss about how to divvy up my projects once I go flying out the door for three months, it hit me. My lack of control over the situation affects everyone I work with. Some of them will get stuck in the middle of a project I started, or my boss will have to ask the client if we can delay until I get back from maternity leave. At least with a pregnancy you can sort of plan!
Today I hope to buy a really cool dresser to double as a changing table. Keep your fingers crossed for me that it isn't sold by the time I can drive an hour across town to look at it! I like Crai.gslist and getting good stuff for cheap but geez, it can be a hassle.
I dislike Babies RUs but I still have $9 on a gift card that I'm determined to use there. If putting a nursery together is stressing you out, I totally get it. It stressed me out because it's like getting all done up for the dance and you haven't even been asked. Take a break or ask a mother friend to pick out things that you will need.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I want to thank you for being a frequent commenter on my blog. I want to return the favor and just reading through what I have so far, I know that I will enjoy following:)
ReplyDeleteAck. I hear you about no control. I can see the fairness in the way your agency has it set up with priority going to the longest families waiting. Heck, I would be all for it, especially since we've been waiting now almost 2 years. However, it must be difficult knowing that attention to profiles is not equally distributed. It's good to know that you have been contacted about a special case. At least you're not totally left out in the cold and it sounds like your agency is making the effort. Yay agency!
With our failed match, we gave 3 months notice to our workplaces. If/when there is a next time for us, they will not be so lucky....they may get a couple of weeks notice max. I hate to do that, but they did get a 'practice run' when we went out of state. Things will work out...family "emergencies" can happen to anyone at anytime and this would fall under that.
I'm refinishing a dresser that is going to double as a changing table too! I plan to post pictures...this is my first attempt at this type of project so we'll see how it turns out.
We are in the process of becoming fost/adopt parents! Well, our homestudy will be later this month (or early next month). We found our cribs and dressers on Craig.slist (great place!). I hope your journey through adoption is joyful and rewarding. I look forward to following you on it.
ReplyDeleteMy engineering husband & I are also on our adoption journey. I wish you & your husband nothing but the best & hope you move up that list very fast!
ReplyDeleteHappy ICLW
Wow, I cannot even imagine what you are going through. I really hope this process goes quickly and perfectly for you. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteICLW Hugs!
I hopeyou were able love and get the dresser! Good luck with the rest of your adoption process! Happy ICLW!
ReplyDeleteHow exciting to potentially be matched. I can imagine how wonderful that must have felt. I hope it works out for you. I can only imagine how stressful it must be, especially not knowing how or when to plan on things.
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best of luck!
Sounds like you will be matched sooner than later! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteICLW