Specifically, a person with whom I work. He stopped by my cube to congratulate me. Which is fine, until he asked "Where did you get it?" It? IT? Ironically, that wasn't what ticked me off.
It was this...he went on to say that he and his wife adopted but couldn't adopt domestically because teenage mothers wouldn't choose parents over 40, so they had to go foreign. *picking my jaw up off the floor*
I suppose I can chalk it up to yet another socially awkward engineer. But that's giving him an excuse. What I really want to know is how can you adopt and be so insensitive to the whole situation?
It was this...he went on to say that he and his wife adopted but couldn't adopt domestically because teenage mothers wouldn't choose parents over 40, so they had to go foreign. *picking my jaw up off the floor*
I suppose I can chalk it up to yet another socially awkward engineer. But that's giving him an excuse. What I really want to know is how can you adopt and be so insensitive to the whole situation?
You know, I bet you'd hear a totally different story from his wife. I think sometimes it's just "that" (man thing) - perhaps not, but it would be interesting to see his perspective vs hers!
ReplyDeleteUgh. People are idiots, but yes, you'd expect more from adoptive parents. And that teenage mother thing is such a myth! Or that they wouldn't want someone over 40!
ReplyDeleteThat's pretty bad. Did you correct him? Honestly, I've heard myself say stuff that I thought about later, and realized I could have said differently. It's a learning curve.
ReplyDeleteGeesh. I'd say that conversation really takes the cake! Amazing the number of morons out there.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like his concept of adoption is a bit skewed. The fact that he says he had to "go foreign" says a lot of his ignorance. He most likely views adoption as a "saving the children" thing, which is just sad and really not the point of adoption.
ReplyDeleteSorry you had to endure that encounter.
Sarah B - Good point, I should have corrected him, but I didn't. I think all said was "Oh, ok". My problem is that I often have to think through responses and I spend way too much time processing to respond quickly. Especially when I'm floored!
ReplyDeleteWHAT!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWow. People are amazingly insensitive.
ReplyDeleteWe dealt with a lawyer in this process who, the first time we met him, said, "Well, in my experience, birth parents aren't very intelligent." I bit my tongue so hard it hurt the next day. This is someone who had adopted, too.