It's the f-cking roller coaster that's bad. The void of information with one update a week when she goes to the doctor. The anxious checking of the phone, the not knowing what's happening.
And she freaking has her doctor's appointments in the afternoon. Yes, she's still pregnant. Yes the plan is still in place. Yes she is unbelievably miserable. Yes there is a plan for induction if she doesn't go into labor this week.
Yes, I can teach the regularly scheduled Jazzercise class today anyway, since we know that today is not likely to result in a phone call to rush to the hospital.
Tomorrow it's back to nail biting and anxiety and trouble concentrating. Who am I kidding. This latest update didn't relieve much anxiety. S asked me what could we do to make me feel better about this. Nothing. It needs to be over. This bullsh*t needs to end. I either have 2 kids or I don't.
Nothing easy about any of this. I think you're doing great - nail biting right along with you. Hang in there - before you know it, it 'a show time!
ReplyDeleteI am keeping my fingers crossed for you. With what has happened previously it is hard not to let your mind go to the bad places when there is no news. I certainly have had the same issue because of recurrent losses. You will be in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI'm on pins and needles every time I see you posted. Yikes. I'm so sorry this is so stressful for you. I can't even imagine, even though you do a great job of describing your feelings, what this waiting must be like. I'm keeping everything crossed that this goes your way and that you can be at ease sooner rather than later. (((hugs)))
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