Why ?
A) it was brought up in our adoptive parent training and many adoption books mention it. If you have never heard of it, then chances are you are blessedly fertile. Oh, and what do you think the term wet-nurse refers to?
B) it's assuming that an adoptive mom would naturally want to breast feed despite the fact that her reproductive organs have failed time and again.
C) sure, some adoptive moms do it, but like breast feeding a child you carried, it's an intensely personal journey that works for some and not for others.
D) how do you know that the person you are passing this amazing news onto hasn't already tried and failed?
E) do you know the crazy shit you have to go through to force your body to lactate? Oh right, probably not because you didn't have to do it.
E). Me? It was never something I wanted to do.
So, thank you for your well meaning, yet totally out of line referral to a lactation specialist. I'll keep the information in case I come across a fellow adoptive mom who wants to go for it.
Oh. My. Gosh. People say the stupidest things to adoptive parents. Sorry you had to deal with that. :/ All I can think of is that most people who haven't ever had to think through adoption are just completely clueless and say whatever pops into their brain without ever taking the time to self-edit or empathize.
ReplyDeleteUgh. Highly inappropriate thing to say to anyone! Adopting or not.
ReplyDeleteMy SIL suggested that I bf my adopted daughter as she was bf the baby she gave birth to just two weeks prior. I asked her if I had to give myself injections to ovulate, what she thought I had to do in order to lactate. She changed the subject after that.
ReplyDeleteHahaha. Yes, so annoying. I got in a fight with a Breast-is-Best-Nazi on Twitter about this. My kid showed up in my life at almost 8 months old and was likely never breastfed. You want me to pick her up at the airport and just pop a boob in her mouth? Mkay.
ReplyDeleteWhile I absolutely agree with you that people say really (really) stupid, insensitive things, personally, I am grateful that someone said to me, "Hey, did you know you can totally breastfeed a baby you adopt?". I'd have never known 8yrs ago that it was a possibility.
ReplyDeleteWhen we brought our 2 week old baby to my husband's office to visit - a receptionist I had NEVER met gave me a lovely gift and a card. And in the card, there was a some information about adoptive breastfeeding. I sent her a thank you card in real life and a mind your own business card in my head. I was dumbfounded. Not only had I considered that whole shebang as a complete mindfuck to do to myself (as you know you have to start WAY before you get the kid), it's also a big IF you get the kid. Not an added stress I needed in my life. Anyways, I was amazed at her well intentioned but ballsy nerve.
ReplyDelete