The Open Adoption Roundtable
is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It’s
designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the
open adoption community.
Well, I'd be remiss if I didn't say there isn't a whole lot of talking about open adoption with either of our families. We attempted to educate them on the topic of adoption, and as a whole they weren't particularly interested. Open adoption? Scary.
So, as far as the openness we have with C goes, we mention when we see her, and we'll talk about the little gifts that she brings to Baby X. They generally mutter something non-committal, or look surprised that we're still keeping contact and continue on with whatever they are doing.
I know that part of it is that we are fiercely protective of C and her situation so discussing details is a little tricky. Until our relationship with C is solid, and probably until Baby X has a say in the whole idea of revealing more, we aren't going to push the issue. At this point, then, there isn't a whole lot to talk about, except to continue making it clear that this is a relationship that is not going to fade. That's probably the point for us to be communicating right now, and I think that we're doing a decent job of it.
I'm sorry that your family doesn't "get" adoption/open adoption. I think it's wonderful that you see C. We're planning a trip to visit Ms J at some point soon, and I can't wait!
ReplyDeleteWe have a semi-open adoption. Since we adopted through foster care, most people are surprised when I say that. It might be more open if we lived in the same state, but as it stands today, I'm slightly thankful we don't.
ReplyDeleteMy biggest fear is not that there will be contact but that we'll lose contact at some point. Right now it's really one sided (me sending updates and not really getting much in return). I know one day my daughter will want to see somebody that looks similar to her and I am hoping I can keep the communication going long enough to allow her to do that.