I have a hard time having an opinion about what C wants when it comes to Baby X. She wants to bring gifts everytime? Sure. Buy a cake when it's near his birthday? Ok. (Damn good cake, I might add)
No problem...although sometimes the gifts are a little much, but you know, who am I to say what she can or can't do in the way of gifts for Baby X?
But, for this meeting, the request is a little more. Today, I don't know what to think. While, on one hand, it seems benign, and we'll be meeting in a neutral place, it's a little unsettling. We're leaning toward saying no for now. (Not to the visit itself, but to the other people who aren't related to Baby X coming along).
How do you draw the line when it's something not neccessarily safety related, but still a little uncomfortable?
P.s. antibiotics totally don't work when you have a virus. Damn. No simple strep for me! At least I'm finally feeling better even though this weekend was still pretty rough.
sorry you're still feeling rough. Tough to deal with boundary issues especially in this area. We (I should say I since DH isn't as bothered as me) have had some boundary issues with some people in our lives re: DD and it is no fun, in our case, we are not that close to them (hence boundaries!) but at the same time don't want to offend. So far no issues with BM but I can't imagine how hard that would be. All the best to you as you work it out- I think you need to follow your instincts.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any good advice for you. But I'm glad you are feeling better.
ReplyDeleteThe whole birth family-adoptive family relationship is certainly the most complicated I've ever encountered. The only advice I have is this - go with your gut. Also, if things are super uncomfortable right now, at least baby X is young enough that he'll be pretty much obilivious? You've got time to figure it out. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI'm not quite there yet with meeting the bio-family, so my words may not have as much impact as somebody who has been there before.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you not want to have non-related people added to the mix? (Rhetorical, not expecting you to answer in the blog). Is it because you don't want added drama, think Baby X would be too overwhelmed with meeting A LOT of new people, you don't personally like people covered in tattoos with a lip plate and implanted horns?
Maybe you could compromise? If C isn't driving from too far away, maybe meet for half the time with just her then allow the "others" to show up? Or maybe keep it small this time and offer for a "next time" to bring others. You're building a relationship with C and right now it might be best to keep the rendezvous small.
Good points. Although I'm pretty sure they don't have lip plates and implanted horns! :o) It's mostly that this is Baby X's time to get to know her, and we see her so infrequently that he definitely has not put 2 and 2 together. Plus, yes, I'm being selfish, and since I'm having a hard time connecting with C, I don't want my energy diverted to an outside party during our visit.
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